Beauty how-to: Look hot with a hangover Heed my words. I am very old and have put many things into my holes and I know of what I speak. The only cures for a hangover-slash-comedown are (a) fried eggs and (b) a Time Machine. Actually, the fried eggs don’t really work. So, if you have a hang-downer, it’s best to accept that you will leak life-force like Julian leaks a diplomatic cable for much of the day. And no one, not even Geoffrey Robertson, will give a shit about how crook you feel. The first thing always written is: “Drink plenty of water!” This is of no use to anyone who has taken MDMA or its less reliable cousins. You have already consumed more water than The Prodigy did backstage at Glastonbury in 1995 and your kidneys are screaming for relief. And even if you have a plain old gin-headache, it is just foolish to slam down a litre. This is likely to make you vom and your glitter-filled sputum might tip others off to your compromised state.  Drink a little at a time consistently and this will likely assist you in not looking like desiccated coconut as the hours crawl by. And, yes, you should have drunk water blah blah last night blah. But between all that arbitrary fellatio, rye and karaoke, I guess your mouth was pretty busy… ~ Helen Razer is a hoot, and she can make me laugh even when I have a hangover.

Beauty how-to: Look hot with a hangover

Heed my words. I am very old and have put many things into my holes and I know of what I speak. The only cures for a hangover-slash-comedown are (a) fried eggs and (b) a Time Machine. Actually, the fried eggs don’t really work. So, if you have a hang-downer, it’s best to accept that you will leak life-force like Julian leaks a diplomatic cable for much of the day. And no one, not even Geoffrey Robertson, will give a shit about how crook you feel.

The first thing always written is: “Drink plenty of water!” This is of no use to anyone who has taken MDMA or its less reliable cousins. You have already consumed more water than The Prodigy did backstage at Glastonbury in 1995 and your kidneys are screaming for relief. And even if you have a plain old gin-headache, it is just foolish to slam down a litre. This is likely to make you vom and your glitter-filled sputum might tip others off to your compromised state.  Drink a little at a time consistently and this will likely assist you in not looking like desiccated coconut as the hours crawl by. And, yes, you should have drunk water blah blah last night blah. But between all that arbitrary fellatio, rye and karaoke, I guess your mouth was pretty busy…

~ Helen Razer is a hoot, and she can make me laugh even when I have a hangover.

#australian culture #helen razer #witty writers #hangovers
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